Trying To Break Free
by BBleached
Summary: Full summary inside. A story about finding the warm places in life. Suicidalthoughts, careless language. Rating may change?
1. Being Unwanted

**Okay..I think this story..will not be done for a looooooong time..or I don't know..  
****Anyways, it's kinda about my own life (if we cut the "suicide-parts", and that I have a sister and a dad who hates me and that the boy I loves me back..) so..it's kinda sad..sorry for my english also.  
****AU by the way..**

**Just a short disclaimer before the story begins: I do not own Bleach! (If I did..it wouldn't look like Bleach x.x)**

'thoughts'  
"normal speaking"

Summary:

A new life takes place when Karin starts in the Karakura Highschool.  
After so many years of pain, heartbreaks and sorrow, she finally start over again, in a new town, a new school and new friends.

* * *

"Hey you, pack up your things and quit daydreaming."  
"Yeah, yeah dad."  
"Your sister is almost done. Hurry up if you don't want to be late for school." Isshin snorted.  
"I'.." Karin gave him a last glare as she went into the house.  
"Why does he always treat me like a piece of shit?"

"Hey dad! I'm done!" Karin shouted five minutes later. No answer. 'Did they leave without me? Fuck off..' Karin left their frontdoor wide open, why should she care? She didn't have anything precious other than the bracelet she had from her mother. Karin saw a busstop on the other side of their new house.  
"Shall I? No way, no bus first day." Karin said as she began to walk down the road.

Toushirou's POV:

Annoying gazes started to look at me, why? Always the same, I may be cold but I have a heart too.  
There were some new girls that started here today too, I guess they're also going to fall for me. I was handsome..and that was my oh-so beautiful white hair.  
I started to walk to my class, through the outdoor way, then I saw something walking far away. A girl? I remained still, waiting for her to come closer. Raven hair, onyx eyes, a slim body, but her gaze gave off a feeling of being alone, having no place to go. She also had some bruises on her right arm and scratches on her palms, what had happend?

Karin's POV:

He just stood there, staring at me, at my arm and palm, at my bruises and scratches. Oh God, now he must think I'm some gangmember.  
"Hey will you quit staring at me please?" I snapped.  
"Oh sorry." He said, shaking his head. White hair, teal-eyes. Really handsome..wait..I promised myself, no more love.  
"I haven't seen you here before." He continued.  
"I just got here today."  
"So, you're one of the new girls?" I saw his eyebrow raising.  
"Yeah, but if you want to know where my sister iss, don't ask me." I snapped. My sister, my damn, fucking sister. Always getting what she wants. Everything. All attention. Always in the center.  
I started to walk away he spoke up again  
"What class are you going to?" I turned my head at his question.  
"English, room 1-3" I replied.  
"Then you're going the wrong way." He said and pointed backwards. "It's over there."  
"Yeah, whatever, I saw something nice over here." I said.  
"Like?"  
"Oh nothing." I knew he would think I'm insane.  
"Okay..so then, take care. I tell Arehateta-sensei that you're coming later." I looked at him as he walked away. Did he care about me? I shook the though out of my head as I began to walk. I don't want to trust anyone, no one.

Normal POV:

Toushirou went in to the English class.  
"Now when we all are here then we can start." Arehateta Akaiko said. "We have a new student here today.  
Toushirou was about to tell her that she was going to be late but a lightbrown-haired girl interrupted.  
"Hey! I'm Kurosaki Yuzu, 15 years old, arrived here today and I'm living with my dad." She bowed and went back to her seat, giggling with some girls.  
'Where was she, the one I met?' Toushirou thought as the door slowly opened and a raven haired head came in.  
"And who are you?" Akaiko glared at her.  
"I'm sorry I'm late.."  
"Well I'm still wondering why you're here?"  
Karin opened her mouth to answer but Toushirou interrupted.  
"I'm sorry Arehateta-sensei. I forgot to tell you that she was going to be late. She's the other new student."  
"Well Hitsugaya-kun, I'm well aware that it was only one student who wasnew here today." Akaiko said, raising an eyebrow. "And her name is Kurosaki Yuzu, the one up there." Toushirou watched Karin's face, which was full of disgust as Akaiko said Yuzu'z name.  
"Then I'm sorry if I interrupted you in class." Karin bowed and went out of the class.

Karin's POV:

Why? Why? Why did they have to do this? As my life wasn't miserable enough. I was made fun of already at home. If you should call it a home.  
I bet Yuzu didn't say anything about me when she told them about her.  
I began to run towards the stairs I knew went to the roof, I needed to be alone. They haven't even written me into the school. Just a big joke to say I was going to be late for school. Always playing with me. I'm just an easy object in their world.  
I reached the roof, went to the edge, looking down.  
What if I just..fell off? No one would care anyways..  
A flash of white flashed in her mind. Maybe he would just..wonder..why..  
I put my hand in my pocket, searching for the razor I had for selfdefence. Found it. I took it out, looking at it. Such a small thing to take a life. Wonder..if..I should do it.. I gripped the razor tighter, feeling it cut my palm, blood dripped down.

"What are you doing?"  
I jumped at the question, dropped the razor at the ground, it made a clear sound, such as steel does. I turned around, it was the white-haired teen again. I haven't heard him coming. Was I so deep in my thoughts?  
He looked at my hand again. I didn't know what to say.  
"Why are you bleeding? Did..did you cut yourself?" He turned his teal eyes to mine.  
"Uh..no..I just slipped." I wiped off the blood on my black jeans.  
"Here, let me help you." He reached out a hand. I stared at it.  
"No, thanks, I'm fine." I hid the hand behind my back.  
"You don't seem fine."  
"Whatever with my state, could you please leave me?"  
"If I leave you, will you promise to not jump off?" I stared at him. Had he read my thoughts?  
"What? I never said anything about that."  
"Your eyes..and the movement.."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"Don't be kidding.. I stood here last year with the same thought, but my sister saved me."  
That would..never happen to me.  
"Fine.." I said. "I go down."  
"That's - " He tried to say something but was interrupted by some girls screaming.

"Hitsugaya-kun! Are you okay?!"  
"Why shouldn't I be?" He raised an eyebrow, watching them with a surprised face.  
"We saw you up here and thought something was wrong!"  
"That's right!" The others agreed. How annoying. They doesn't even see me, but whatever I'm used now, but the storm wasn't over yet.  
"What are you doing here?" I felt her disgusting gaze upon me. My damn sister.  
"Taking some air." I replied.  
"I'm not asking what you're doing, I'm asking why you're here. You should be home and washing now." I saw that the white haired teen winced. Did he really..?  
"Sorry for breathing air." I responded.  
"Don't be rude, just go home brat." Yuzu snorted with the same tone as my father. Oh, they're so alike. Like father and daughter. Wait. I'm his daughter too or? Maybe not.  
I thought that I either just jump off and wish the best of it, stay still and see what happens or obey and go home. Hard to decide. I looked down the roof and back to the crowd, it was about 15 girls now.  
"Ne Yuzu-san, can't we teach her a lesson if she doesn't go home?" Oh Yuzu haves her own little fanclub already, how sweet.  
"Perfectly fine, but don't mention my name if you get caught."

That was the last drop in the bottle.  
"Just come then! Give me some more bruises and pain. I don't care! You've already made my life a living hell, why don't you just push me off this roof, oh wait, you don't want to break your nails sorry I forgot, but when it comes to me I can do everything even if I break a leg or something right? Just finish me off!" I stepped backwards, the edge coming closer. Now..everything will finally come to an end.

* * *

**So there's the first chapter!  
I do have nothing against Yuzu or Isshin just so you know..but I do have something against Hinamori.. .''**

**Please tell me what you thought about it!**


	2. Catch Me As I Fall

**I'm sorry if this chapter is short..I have some yelling parents in the background that wants me to do the dishes..  
****Just tell me if I update too slow..(I know I do..) and if you want me to upload my fanfic (which I have written over 5 chapters on)**

**Just a short disclaimer before the story begins: I do not own Bleach! (If I did..it wouldn't look like Bleach x.x)**

"speaking"  
'thoughts'

* * *

Toushirou watched Karin as she took each step closer the edge.

'Didn't you..promise me..not to jump?'

Karin turned her gaze at Toushirou, onyx VS teal eyes, both filled with agony.

'Sorry for making you worry. It ends now.'

As Karin took the last step, a flash of white pushed itself through the crowd, following the falling girl.

'If your sister isn't going to save you like it happend to me, someone else have to do it.'

**

* * *

**

Karin's POV

* * *

Distant voices. Beeping sounds. Something warm against my arm and legs, but still..everything are black. No light, just black and empty. What had happend? Oh yeah..I fell off, wait, jumped of the roof. So this is what to be dead?

"It's a miracle that she survived."

I'm not dead?

"It must be because of the boy."

"Yeah..he must really care for her, jumping after her and even thoug his broken arm and leg, which are a miracle too, he's still watching over her."

A boy? Don't tell me..

"Hey look! Her heartrate is speeding up!"

The beeping sounds started to be more intensive as the light crept in to my eyes.

"She's awake!"

I finally opened my eyes fully and saw a blue-grey ceiling. I felt something against my leg. I looked down, only to meet a bunch of white hair.

He's..here?

"Hitsugaya-kun..wake up, we need to check her." A brown haired nurse said, slowly shaking the boy.

"Hn.." His head rose up and I met his eyes with mine.

"Y-you.." I heard him stutter.

"Please Hitsugaya-kun, we need to check her, we call you once we're done." The nurse slowly pushed him out of the room, but our eyes never left each other.

What am I going to say? 'Hey thanks for saving me, but next time, please don't follow me? I don't want to be your burden.'  
I don't know what to say.. I don't know what to do. I was ready to die there. What good can come of this? Nothing, really nothing.

* * *

**Normal POV**

* * *

The nurse checked Karin, who was in deep thoughts and didn't notice the nurse so much.

"Kurosaki-san, how are you feeling? The nurse asked.

"Good I think..but I can't move my legs, and my shoulder hurts too.." Karin said.

"You were lucky, a fall for about 30 meters usually kill people. I don't know how he managed to save you both. Just two broken legs and a shoulder for you." The nurse said and finished Karin. "Shall I send him in?"

"Yes thanks." Karin nodded.

A few minutes later, Toushirou walked in.

"Hey."

"Hey." Silence filled the air, as Toushirou sat down on the chair beside her bed.

"Hey..I'm..I'm sorry if I did the wrong thing." Karin stared at him. 'Did he just apolpgized for saving me?'

"I just..didn't want the same to happen again." Karin just stared at him, taking in every little word he said.

"How..how did you manage to save us?" Karin asked silently.

"The tree under us..you saw it, it loosened our fall, I took a grip on a branch."

"What about Yuzu and the other bitches?"

"They ran away, after screaming like the world was going under." Toushirou sighed.

"This nightmare never ends.." Karin whispered."

"Huh, what?"

"Nothing, by the way, how are you?" Karin asked.

"I'm fine."

The door slowly opened and the brown haired nurse stepped in.

"Hitsugaya-kun..Your sister..is here to visit you.."

**

* * *

**

There, done!

**I'm sorry if I made the OOC, I'm really sorry!**

**And also, who are you thinking should be Hitsugaya's sister?**

**Matsumoto or an OC?**

**Please tell me (:**


	3. Starting A New Life

**Hey, new update, since i got 3 reviews and I'm in the mood.  
I know this is a HitsuKarin fic, but this one is going to be Karin-centric but with Hitsugaya as a major character, and since my life(which this fic based on) doesn't have so much fluffy moments so please don't get up so many hopes!  
****  
****And also.. I made Matsumoto his cousin, who kinda acts like his sister..so everyone got what you wanted, an OC and Matsumoto as his sister ^^  
Everybody knows that Matsumoto haves a kind heart so her actions isn't blown away with the wind, anyway, live with it.**

**Warnings: OOC'ness, but hey, no one can really stand a horrible past with a straight face right? Live with it now. I'm going to jump a bit in this story soon..then they're going to be more like themselves.**

**~BBleached**

* * *

By the time that Toushirou and Karin were driven to the hospital, a woman with strawberry blonde hair got a call and rushed to the hospital.  
She was instructed to wait, and walked worryingly in circles in the blue-white corridor. She wonders why her cousin always gets in trouble, where is his sister when you need her? Gone as always, first kind and happy, then cold and distant.  
Where did her heart go?

Toushirou stared at the nurse, his sister?

"Are you sure she's here?"

"She says she's you sister. I can get her if you want."

"Yes please." The nurse nodded and went out of the room, and two minutes later, a strawberry blonde head peeked in.

"Matsumoto. explain." Toushirou said as the busty woman stepped in.

"I think the hospital didn't knew that Yukina moved out of the apartment three years ago." The woman called Matsumoto tilted her head, and gave off a curious look in her eyes.  
"By the way, who's this girl huh?"

"Karin, Kurosaki Karin." Karin said and was about to stretch out a hand when Matsumoto hugged her..and that..very hard.

"Poor one..so young and so full of regret.." Matsumoto sobbed.

A mumbling sound was heard from Karin between the clevage of Matsumoto's breast.

"You're strangling her Matsumoto." Toushirou said.

"Oh sorry.." A wet-eyed Matsumoto said and got off Karin.

"I'm fine.." Karin huffed

"So what do you intend to do now, taichou? **(Matsumoto haves a habit to call Hitsugaya taichou here too since he's the soccer captain, lol couldn't help myself)**" Matsumoto asked.

"I have no idea, did you hear something new about the other girls?" Toushirou answered. "Like what they did after they ran away."

"Actually, I heard from the school's principal that one of the girls did call the ambulance, but she took off before they could hear any explanation." Matsumoto replied and tapped her finger under her chin.

"What a ruckus this is going to be..second suicide attempt.." Toushirou sighed. "Anyways, I'm off."

"Oowie taichou, you're so cold sometimes, by the way, you don't have to go to school tomorrow y'know, the principal called and said you two could take the week off, since it's just Wednesday." Matsumoto whined. "And Karin-chan, what are you going to do?"

"I have no damn idea. Not going back for sure, that's one thing. I'm not going to face them now." Karin said and made a face of disgust as Toushirou stopped by the doorway.

"Then..where are you going to live and for how long?"

"As long as it takes, and I have no damn idea, I find somewhere."

"No way, you're going to live with Matsumoto." Toushirou said and walked out of the room.

"Seems like he has decided then dear, come on, I'll pick up your things later, we're going to check out your new home."

**Matsumoto's apartment, southern Karakura Town**

"It's not so big, but I guess we can live with it, since I can't afford any big amounts of money." Matsumoto said and sighed.

"It's okay..thanks for, you know, letting me live here.." Karin said and bowed her head.

"It's alright dear, I know what you're going through, taichou did the same, and we have to see the light in front of us, even if your family doesn't allows you to live here right?"

"Yeah..hopefully, they don't even want me.."

"Don't say such things Karin-chan, every parent do love their childs, in either way, I'm sure he has his reasons, and your sister too." Matsumoto encouraged and patted Karin's head. "Come on, we need some sleep."

Karin and Matsumoto walked through the door, which closed silent and they drifted off to sleep.

**Next day, Thursday, morning.**

"Karin-chan, Karin-chan, wake up dear."

"Uh..Matsumoto-san?" Karin said sleeply and rubbed her eyes, the ray of lights slipped through the blinds and blended Karin.

"Do you want to follow me to get your stuff?"

"...actually, no thanks.." Karin said and threw the bed quilt and sat up on the edge.

"Well, that settles it, I go and get your stuff and tell them that you're living with me until this mess is cleared." Matsumoto said and ruffled Karin's hair." By the way, breakfast is ready on the kitchen table."

"Thanks." Matsumoto walked out of the bedroom and soon a click was heard and the front door was locked.

Karin took the opportunity to eat a normal breakfast since the earlier ones haven't been great, just some leftovers, then she went to the bathroom and took a short shower, she didn't have enough strenght to wash herself fully with her injuries.  
Exhausted, Karin went to the sofa to rest and wait until Matsumoto got home, and dd her time with some magazines.

3 hours later, Matsumoto came back, accompanied with Toushirou, and had a brown bag with her.

"Karin-chan, I'm home and I have your things, even though they weren't much, and I have taichou with me too!" The loud voice of Matsumoto's was heard through the apartment.

"You're too loud Matsumoto." Toushirou said and took off his shoes. "Good day Karin."

"Good day to you too.." Karin said.

"You're feeling better?"

"Yeah..a bit, it hurts a bit, but I'm living with it." Karin replied and a ghost of a smile appeared on her face.

"It's over soon."

"I know."

**Next week, outside Matsumoto's apartment**

"I'll pick you up later then Karin!" Matsumoto said and waved them off as they walked to school (yeah, they can walk, but not too good, and it's not so far from the apartment too, and motion is good for the health).

"Thanks." Karin said and waved back.

When the school was in sight, Toushirou spoke up.

"This is going to be a huge story right?"

"Yeah I guess so.." Karin replied and smiled. "But I also guess this is a new beginning of something great."

"I think you're right."

* * *

**There, from now on I'm going to jump a year to continue this, and maybe I will update a new chapter today too.**

**See ya!**

**Love  
****  
BBleached~**


	4. One Year Later

**Hey guys! I'm here with a new chapter of "Trying To Break Free", all thanks strawberry . fishcakes to thanks! I will go on a week vacation and I think you guys don't want to wait that long huh?**

**The reason why I update this is, and not "WDINR", that that one have a lot more chapters..than this one.**

**Karin writes a journal since she thinks that a diary is too girlish for her xD**

**EDIT: I know I named Shirou-chans sister Yukina, but tha will change from now on, her name will be Soukuroi instead. Then they will have more similar in their names, and opposites.**

**Shiroi – white**

**Kuroi – black**

**Disclaimer****: I do not own Bleach..if I did, it would not be the same.**

**Claimer****: Any OC's that may come and of course our little taichou's emo sister Soukuroi.**

**On with the story!**

* * *

_Date: xx August xxx_

_Dear journal~_

_A year have passed._

_I still have some after-effects that hurts from the accident back then, but I don't care. That was the start of the new life I've ever dreamed about, so I do not regret jumping off the roof back then._

_I'm still living with Matsumoto and I don't know who's taking care of who in this apartment._

_Toushirou and me are still good friends, but ever since his sister showed up again, he's not been the same person. In school we're nothing more than classmates, we rarely talk about anything else and sometimes we also fights..but then..after the school and when we're alone in school, he's another person. The one I used to know when I first met him, even though he's not so open to Matsumoto which he's to me._

_It was 3 months after the accident that Soukuroi-san showed up._

_She wanted to talk to Toushirou alone._

_After 2 hours, he came back, his face was pale and he had one hand in his pocket, hiding something._

_We asked what was wrong and he just snapped back that he was fine._

_But something was really wrong, and I wouldn't get to know it._

_It was then he changed. Back to his cold demeanour. Since then, I haven't seen Soukuroi-san, she disappeared as soon as she appeared._

_Yuzu and I haven't talked since the accident either. I don't know if she took this hardor if she even care, but I'm not in her classes anymore. I think the principal had some fingers in this too, he put me and Toushirou in the parallell class instead._

_My father is the same as Yuzu, but I know he cares, even if he's not showing it or saying anything. I am his daughter, even if I more consider myself as Matsumoto's little sister who's taking care of her older sister that always get drunk. She started with it again..since Soukuroi's visit, I don't know what has happened with them in the past, but it's not a good thing I guess, because Matsumoto is sulky! Imagine a sulky Matsumoto? Hard? I know but it's rare.._

_My mind isn't working at all. At the top of all this mess, my grades are going down. My teachers said that I must write better on my tests. They also said that I can explain thigns good and do the practical things..but the writings are awful, and that's sinking my grades. Sad enough._

_Now it's my time to go._

Karin closed her black and white journal which she got as a christmaspresent from Matsumoto last year. The school was about to start in a hour so she picked up her cellphone and walked to the front door.

"Matsumoto-san! I'm off!" Karin shouted while walking out of the door.

"Breakfast then?" Matsumoto's voice were heard from the kitchen.

"I'll take something in school!" Karin answered and shut the door.

Walking down the 3 stairs Karin began to think about picking Toushirou up.

'Maybe he's still home..' Instead of turning right when she stepped out of the aparment building she went left – destination Hitsugaya Residence.

First she had to walk past the local coffe café, then a small bookstore, cross the street and taking left again, the pet-shop was shown, and if you looked closely, you could see the roof of a lightblue and white house.

10 minutes later Karin stood outside the Hitsugaya Residence's gate. The lights were out and the curtains were closed.

'He already left..' Karin thought and sighed and started to walk towards the school.

* * *

**At the school 8.20**

'Only 10 minutes left until the first lesson..' Karin thought and went to her locker to get her history books.

When she turned around she locked her gaze with a pair of teal-green eyes.

"Hey Karin, what's the first lesson?" Toushirou asked, not breaking their eye contact.

"Uh..History." Karin replied as she held up her books. " I thought you knew it."

"Hn, we all makes mistakes, right?"

"Yeah, right." Karin said and smiled. He gave me a confused look as she gave him a smugly look. Suddenly she took his hand and dragged him with her to the classroom. "Come on! We're going to be late if you just stand there like a ghost!"

Toushirou raised an eyebrow and allowed to dragged along. They were too alike. It was like she had read his mind. He was about to take a hold of her arm and go to the classroom when she did it instead, but a thought struck his mind.

"Hey Karin!"

"What now?" Karin said and this time it was her turn to raise an eyebrow. The door was right ahead and it was 1 minute left until the lesson.

"I forgot my books.." He said as Karin pushed the door open.

"Well..too late to get them now.." I said and dragged him to our seat. We was forced to sit by each other even though we talked too much. Teachers and their ways "To-Get-Used-To-Each-Other".

"So what?" Toushirou said. "How am I supposed to work now? Without my books?"

"Are you playing dumb today or not? What's on your mind?" Karin asked instead of answering and touched his forehead. "You can share with me, of course. Teachers won't mind, they will only be happy that we are getting along."

"You mean we aren't 'getting along' as you said?" Toushirou raised an eyebrow for the second time today.

"Seems like we talk too much." Karin said and smiled.

"Hn." Toushirou answered and took one of Karin's books.

"Hey! I was about to use that one!"

* * *

**Lunch break 12.30**

"What will you have for lunch?" Toushirou asked.

"I have no idea. I'm starving, I haven't eaten since last night." Karin replied, her stomach growling in hunger.

"Seems like you're going to eat the cafeteria out today." Toushirou said and smirked.

"Damn you! I've no strenght to chase you around the school since I haven't got any food, just wait** Shorty**.." Karin said and then ran off into the crowd.

"Yea- hey! TAKE THAT BACK!" Toushirou yelled after her. "**I'M NOT SHORT!"**

Karin stopped in her track in the middle of the crowd and turned around and stuck out her tounge at Toushirou.

**x~BBleached Break~x**

A half hour later, Karin walked out of the cafeteria with a full stomach.

'That was good...' She thought and by hearing someone come closer she turned around.

"Toushirou..!"

"Yo..**Ka-ri-n**.." Toushirou said and emphasized her name.

"Am I in big trouble now?" Karin said and tried to smile.

"You bet you are."

By the time of 1.15 Karin stopped running away from Toushirou and slumped back against a tree.

"How..long..is it..before the lesson starts?" Karin panted.

"15 minutes..you're exhausted?" Toushirou said and sat down beside her.

"Nope..just a little tired that's all!"

"You're exhausted.."

"You're wrong.." Karin pouted.

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"This isn't going anyway..shut it up.." Karin said and laid her head in Toushirou's lap. "Don't you wish you were a cloud?"

"No..why?" Toushirou asked and ran his fingers through her hair.

"I have no idea.." Karin replied and smiled.

* * *

**Finished! You got a extra long chapter since I'm going on a vacation! XD**

**I'm trying to keep them less OOC now..**

**And the moment at the end are meant in a friendly way..not lovely xD**

**Anyways..bye! (and review at least 3 times until I get home! I have my eyes on you!)**

**BBleached~**


	5. Finding Answers

**Hello! I'm back again! I got my laptop from the school so now I can write the chapters when I have nothing to do in school! :D Isn't that great?**

**I thought I had to update this story when I updated "Why Do I Not Remember You?" last time and this story needs more love from the authoress too.**

**But now on with the story!**

* * *

The hours went by and they decided to shop some new school books together after school.

"So when do we meet up?" Karin asked.

"I don't know, five minutes after school ends?"

"Sure.." Karin said and walked in to her classroom.

Toushirou stood still and watched her close the door as her classmates began to chatter with her.

"I'm really sorry Karin..I really am.." With that he turned around and walked away.

**Karin's POV**

"Hey Karin!" I turned around as Midoriko shouted my name. She was one of my friends I've made through the year, it wasn't as I didn't wanted friends. I didn't want to make anyone sad or broken, as I was before I met Toushirou and Matsumoto-san. I didn't talk much to those who was on the roof one year ago, as I changed class to this from Yuzu's.

"What is it Midoriko?"

"How was your little break with Hitsugaya-kun?" She gave me a goofy smile, like all other fan girls of his.

"Peachy as usual..it's not like we're doing anything special." I replied. Most of the girls would faint if I told them that he allows me to sleep on his legs, but for us, it's nothing special. We both know that we don't feel anything special for each other, and all the others know that too, but take the freedom to joke about it.

"So, what are you going to do today?" She and her questions..they're never ending.

"Nothing special, we're going to buy some new books, maybe take a break at the café."

"As a date?" She gave me that goofy smile. Again.

"No." I answered. "We're just going to shop some books for God's sake."

"Aaw..but a girl can dream right?" She pouted.

"Yeah right..a girl can dream." But about what, most of the girls dream about their shiny prince coming and saving them, finding their true love. What do I dream about? I need love as much as all the others, but what I want most is to break free. Break free from my past, break free from the chains of agony and despair and break free from myself and my weakness.

"The lesson is about to start, let's talk later." I said to her and took one out one of my books.

I still couldn't get the creepy feeling out of my head, that Toushirou was avoiding me for some reason, even if he still enjoys my company. Maybe it has something with Soukuroi-san to do.

The most important thing is that he is healthy. As long he is happy, I'm relieved.

The biologic lesson went slowly by, I didn't get much of it in my head, everything I was thinking on was Toushirou. I didn't know if he saw me looking back before the door closed when I left him in the corridor, but I saw that he had pain in his eyes. A deep regret, but I don't know what.  
I packed my books in my bag and went out of the room, and when I closed the door I saw something orange outside. Wait? Orange?  
I ran to the window and opened it.

"ICHIIIIGOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" And as I thought..the carrot head stopped, and turned around and caught my eyes.

The look in his eyes was something between fear and relief.

"Stay where you are, I'm coming!"

I took the nearest stair down and ran outside and found him sitting on a bench.

"Ichigo!"

"Karin!" He took me in to his arms in a big hug, just as big brothers do.

"I've missed you.." I felt his scent and it remembered me of the time when we was a family, before mum died and before Ichigo left us for studying.

"I've missed you too, where have you been? I asked the old goat but he didn't answer, he said something about 'own responsibility'?"

"I..had some fights with dad and Yuzu.." I answered. "But it's okay, I'm fine."

"So where do you live now?"

"At Matsumoto-sans apartment."

"Matsumoto..as in Matsumoto Rangiku?" Ichigo raised an eyebrow. "You know her?"

"Yeah..I have lived there for almost a year now.."

"Now you really have to tell me the story.."

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	6. The Book Store

**Hey! I am currently back on my track of writing fictional fanfics again! :D**

**The reason why I updated this story first is because I'm trying to write a decent ending of "Why Do I Not Remember You?"…hmm and it's not going well..ghaaaa..well I'm still on my semi-hiatus and will not be able to upload that fast in the future, but please keep it up with me!**

**I'm sorry for the long wait!**

**Probably..the chapters will still be as short as they are but will be updated more often since I am in a mood of writing.**

**Okay! Now on to the fic!**

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**Karin's POV**

I told Ichigo everything that has happened through the years he had been gone and at one moment he looked like he was about to strangle someone. I don't know if it was because of how my "former" family had treated me or if it was because of me.  
However, I was glad that he came back. His life had been good. I was happy for him and I couldn't wish myself a better life than I had now.

"Please don't talk to dad about this.." I begged and he looked back at me and frowned.

"Why? Here I come back and actually thinking of seeing my family whole again but that dream was a waste." He said and put his hands in his pockets. "I do as you wish, but I think that you should pay him a visit. You're his daughter after all."

"I know.." I replied and forced a smile. There wasn't anything to smile for when it came to my family. I didn't even had the tears left for them.

"Ja ne Karin, I got to go." Ichigo said and looked at his cell phone. "Rukia is calling."

I waved him good-bye and wished him good luck with his date with Rukia as I started to walk back to school.  
I knew that is was something I had forgotten but I couldn't place my thoughts on what. Suddenly, my phone started to ring and I hurriedly took it up and answered.

"Moshi moshi?"

"KARIN!" Toushirou's voice roared through the phone. I knew it. I forgot him Oh shit, now I had to meet my death. "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?"

"Come on Toushirou, I'm soon there, take it easy hot head." I replied and chuckled. "You need to cool off."

"Whatever, just drag your ass here so we can get these things done." He hung up and I smiled. He always made me smile – even when he was in a bad mood. He was some kind of mood maker to me. Only his presence was enough for me to feel good, to feel safe.

I ran over to the gate and saw Toushirou standing by the walls, his short yet muscular frame leaning calmly by the gate. His gaze was focused on the sky and he had a look in his eyes that I haven't seen in a long time. How I missed him smiling. How I missed him – and only him.

"Toushirou~" I poked him in his sides as he jumped and snapped out of his trance. "Wake up sleepy head."

He gave me a quick glare as he turned around and turned back to his 'cool' attitude.

"Come on, we're late."

I smiled as I followed him silently. It was surely a long time ago since we hung out like this.

We reached the town in five minutes and went to the book store. Actually, I had no idea of what book I really needed but it was okay.

"Did you need any chemistry books?" He asked me from the other side of the shelf. I could see the top of his head over the slightly tall book shelf and I shook my head, even though he couldn't see it.

"No, I don't think so.." I replied as I searched through a stack of older books. "If you find something interesting for the upcoming art class please tell me."

"Sure." I heard him walk away from the shelf I was by and when I didn't hear him, I sighed. Why did I even try? Ever since his sister showed up..he hadn't been the same. I don't think I would be able to melt his heart. Sure, he had his sweet moments when we could be like we were before but those moments were rare. He even distanced himself from other classmates in school. Now and then I tried to reach him at his mansion but to no avail. No lights were on and the only reply I got when I called his name in the speaker was a silent buzz.

I looked down at the book I was currently holding and my eyes widened.

"YATTA!" I exclaimed and the other customers in the shop turned around and looked at me. I smiled sheepishly and excused me. I found the book Toushirou were searching for - a medic book.

I knew his dream was to become a doctor. I don't know if the accident cleared his thoughts but he only told me that it had been his dream ever since he was a little kid. I think it was because of me. He doesn't want anybody to suffer because of other people. If he becomes a doctor, I'm sure he would do anything to make sure that his patients were content with their lives as well as their wounds.  
Smiling to myself, I picked up the book and went to the counter and paid for it. I walked out of the store and waited outside for Toushirou.  
I felt a pain in my head as I started to doze off. I turned my head and I saw Toushirou standing beside me holding two bags of books. In his right hand he held a pretty thick book and I assumed that it was that he used to whack me head with.

"Who's the sleepy head now?"

I think I saw a smirk.

"It's still you." I replied and poked his chin. "Come on, let's drop this stuff at home."

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**I'm sorry that it's still short but I hope you'll like this update!**


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